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Community comments (1)
Claire, I have not edited this guide because it would take a lot of work to make it really good. I hope you will follow my advice and try to improve it yourself. There's some good information in here, but your writing style lacks the changes of pace required to make people want to read on. Your sentences are all of a length, and a lot begin in exactly the same way – which makes this read like a list, not a piece of crafted writing. In paragraph three, for example, you begin no fewer than five of your sentences (some of them consecutive) with "There is" or "There are"; two begin with "They" and two with "The". You have the whole range of the English language available to you, so try to begin each sentence differently. Vary the tone by using anecdote, dialogue, direct speech, word play – all the devices of storytelling – to liven up your prose. It's a problem of presentation, not the material itself, which is quite promising. You just have to make the whole thing work harder to draw the reader in.